Climax Action Comes to the Tokyo Game Show

However, what you don't know is that I actually met with Sega for a game similar in both tone and style which I dubbed Thana-Nude the Pistolista. My game, which contained "Hot Sticky Combination Attacks", "Uncomfortable Whimpering Time", as well as "Parent Angering Immoral Fatal Thrust Strikes", focused on Thana-Nude - a 'death fairy ronin' who fell from the sky after the great seperation of the Lost Tombs of Zeebs in the Seventh Ascenion. Thana-Nude's combat revolved around the fact that she had broadswords for legs and gatling guns for fingers, because of this, she could pull off insane "Fairygasms" that rendered her opponents a pile of lifeless flesh. Whimpering as she did this, and as her bountiful bosom defied gravity and bounced in ways humankind could never fathom, the screen would become a random sequence of images with Thana-Nude in sexy action poses.

It was at this point that Sega abruptly stopped the meeting and allowed me to gather my things before calling security. Speaking of those jerks who couldn't see my vision, over at Sega’s Official Tokyo Game Show site they revealed a list of titles, Bayonetta, being one of them, that they planned to show off to the hungry masses yearning for the goods. Other titles include:

Yakuza 4, the fifth installment of the best-sellling Ryo ga Gotoku series (couting the spin-off Ryu ga Gotoku Kenzan!) for the Playstation 3, which promises to continue the open world yakuza insanity of the previous games along with some new voice talent, one of which has been famously singled out for work in adult cinema (and if you guess who then you get an Aggro-cookie).

End of Eternity aka Resonance of Fate, an RPG helmed by Takayuki Suguro, who previously worked on Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria, Final Fantasy Tactics, and Vagrant Story.

Phantasy Star Portable 2, another entry in the series that follows the events of Phantasy Star Universe and will feature an improved battle system complete with more voice acting and internet co-op for the PSP and not just the ad-hoc that has become the standard fare these days.

And lastly, Valkyria Chronicles 2 for the PSP as well - which will feature, well, new everything by the looks of it. It seems like it will be a pretty solid showing for Sega's RPGs, and perhaps more surprising, for solid PSP RPGs. There will be other titles I'm sure that Sega will want to show off, but as far as a lineup goes, I can see the aformentioned titles being what they focus on most.

I hope the enjoy a rip off of my genius idea. Thana-Nude. Never Forget.